


our eyes are never closing

by Criminal Suits (LSFOREVER)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Come Eating, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Shower Sex, brief thoughts of Blow Jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 18:52:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4315860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LSFOREVER/pseuds/Criminal%20Suits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With everything that's been going on, the headaches coming back — although small — only make things worse. Leave it to Derek to know exactly what Spencer needs to finally relax and sort through the messy shoebox that is his brain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	our eyes are never closing

**Author's Note:**

> My first Criminal Minds fanfic!! Yay! :) This takes place during the second episode of the seventh season ("Proof").
> 
> Anyway. This isn't beta'd so I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes. Title taken from Ed Sheeran's song _Photograph_.
> 
> Enjoy! Xx

**our eyes are never closing**

 

 

After a series of loud knocks and his phone ringing on the bedside table nonstop for the past however many minutes, Spencer finally groans and drags himself out of his bed. The sheets are warm and comfortable, the complete opposite of the cold, crisp air surrounding him at the moment, and he desperately wishes for the softness of his pillow to help quell this headache.

It’s minor, not at all like the ones he had been having before, but it’s still there enough for him to notice right away. He has no doubt it has to do with everything that’s been happening lately, as well as the long flight late last night, early this morning—whenever it was.

But, he doesn’t have time to go get some acetaminophen because the loud knocks on his front door are getting louder now and he can hear another incoming call from his phone behind him. Quickly as possible, Spencer wraps himself up in his robe—he doesn’t quite like the idea of answering the door in just boxer briefs—and quickly makes his way down the hall.

The curtains in his living room are wide open, the bright sunlight making him squint and hover a hand over his eyes, and he regrets falling into bed last night after a quick shower without checking to make sure all the curtains were closed. It’s a habit he used to have, back when his headaches were migraines, painful and almost excruciating. Now, though, he just has to frown and force himself to continue on to the door.

Spencer isn’t very surprised when he sees Derek standing on the other side, looking very worried but also a little pissed. He also isn’t very surprised when Derek pushes right past him, shutting the door and locking it.

“I can do that myself,” Spencer tries to argue for himself, but even to himself he doesn’t sound very convincing. Derek just raises an eyebrow at him, to which Spencer drops his gaze, thankful for the way the sunlight doesn’t shine through his eyelashes very easily, and he notices the dark red running shoes Derek’s wearing—ones Spencer is sure Derek has never worn before. “Those look new.”

Derek hums, but then takes Spencer by the wrist and pulls, and he doesn’t stop until they’re in Spencer’s dark bedroom. He specifically bought the black curtains for Spencer’s bedroom window, of which Spencer was and still is very thankful for, the darker room more comfortable.

“You’ve been asleep,” Derek states, and Spencer doesn’t answer since it wasn’t a question. He shrugs, taking in the crooked jeans and hastily-put-on long-sleeved Derek’s wearing, as well as his slightly sweaty brow and neck.

“You’ve been running,” he states back, more comfortable now in the slightly taller man’s presence even though it’s still cold in the room. The robe is nice, but standing close to Derek in his bedroom, just the two of them, helps him forget about the cold hardwood floor under his bare feet. “And you didn’t shower before coming over here. Anything worrying you?”

And, well. Spencer isn’t dumb. Most definitely not. In fact, one could say if there was a spectrum with dumb at one end, Spencer would be standing at the complete opposite end of said spectrum. He knows the only thing worrying Derek right now is himself, but he still likes to play dumb when he has the chance to.

Derek raises an eyebrow at him again, and Spencer shrugs. “Like you said, I was asleep. That’s why I haven’t answered your twenty two calls and seven emails.” At the look of surprise Derek gives him, Spencer shrugs, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his robe so he doesn’t do anything with them that isn’t appropriate at the moment.

“You obviously didn’t go to sleep after the flight. It’s four in the afternoon, Spencer.” Derek doesn’t look very happy or impressed, but there’s that certain glint in his eyes that he only has whenever he and Spencer are alone here or at his place. Spencer knows he isn’t aware of it, but that’s kind of why he loves it so much.

“Four o six, actually,” he corrects, knowing how much it gets to Derek when Spencer corrects him and also finding a little amusement in it.

Derek rolls his eyes but there’s a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth, like maybe he wants to smile, and that makes Spencer want to smile too. He stays perfectly still as Derek takes a step closer to him, hands coming up to squeeze the sides of his shoulders comfortingly. The warmth of his hands seep through the material of the robe, warming Spencer up even more, and he’s very thankful for that. And now that Derek is standing this close, Spencer can smell him, that slightly musky scent he always gets after running or working out, before showering, and he closes his eyes briefly to revel in it.

“You’re tense.” Spencer doesn’t fight, doesn’t really care if Derek knows just how stressed and overwhelmed he kind of is right now, just sinks into his embrace easily. He hums, pressing his nose to Derek’s soft and sweaty skin of his neck, feeling more relaxed than he has in a long while.

Derek holds him close, arms tight around him. Spencer could fall asleep, if they weren’t standing up and if Derek wasn’t still sweaty. The slight stubble rubbing against his forehead is very wonderful—brief thoughts of that stubble between his thighs flash through Spencer’s mind before he pushes them away—and he whisper-asks, “Why didn’t you shave?”

“Didn’t want to,” the man answers in his deep voice that, from this close, with his nose and top lip pressed to his neck, almost makes Spencer shiver. It’s been so long…

“You should go shower,” Spencer says, “I’m gonna go get some water.”

Derek frowns, after pulling away and holding Spencer at arm’s length, but after Spencer raises his eyebrows at the man, he sighs and turns for the connected bathroom. Spencer waits until he’s toed off his shoes and the bathroom door is half shut before escaping out into the kitchen.

He gulps down a whole glass of water.

With Derek in his bathroom, no doubt naked, Spencer can’t help the thoughts flooding in his mind. His head still kind of hurts but definitely not as bad as before, and he wishes he could just sleep some more.

What he knows is that’s not going to happen. He’ll go lay down and Derek will force him back out of bed as soon as he’s out of the shower. It’s with a sigh that he goes back to his bedroom and, thankful that he has a high metabolism, slips through the half open bathroom door without touching the door or the doorstop.

The clear shower curtain hides nothing, and immediately the back of his neck is hotter than ever. Derek’s clothes are in a pile on the floor in front of the sink, looking innocent enough. Spencer wants to steal the shirt and stuff his face in it.

But Derek was right. Spencer in tense. He has been for quite a while now. His head is swarming with so much right now and he hasn’t felt completely at ease for so long either. He doesn’t take longer than two seconds to decide what he’s going to do, and soon his robe and boxer briefs are joining the small pile of clothes on the floor, left forgotten as he tries to sneak in the shower.

He’s behind Derek, but the man is still staring right at him when he finally looks up, that glint in his eyes even brighter, laced with lust now as Spencer watches Derek look him over. He shuffles a little, but then realizes he has no reason to feel embarrassed anymore—he and Derek have been doing this… _thing_ , whatever it is, for years now.

With a deep breath, Spencer steps into Derek’s space, tilting his head up enough so their faces are just centimeters apart. “I’ve missed you,” he admits quietly, leaning into Derek’s touch when he settles one hand at the small of Spencer’s back and the other around the back of his neck. Their chests are pressed together and the back of Spencer’s neck is still hot.

“I’ve missed you too,” Derek replies, just as quietly and softly, and when he leans in Spencer leans in too, sighing into the kiss. It’s soft, just lips, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well, not until Derek presses them closer and the half-hard line of his dick slides over Spencer’s hip. He gasps, his own hips jumping forward, and before he knows it Derek’s has spun them around and now he’s under the spray of the hot water.

Sputtering, Spencer pulls away with a silent laugh, shaking his head as it’s soaked with water. Derek is smiling too, bright and wonderful, and already Spencer feels his headache go away completely and his shoulders relax. He doesn’t dare look down, knowing he wouldn’t be able to keep from dropping to his knees if he did, and he would rather not hurt his knees against the porcelain floor.

Instead, he pushes Derek back up against the opposite wall so when he kisses him, neither of them are under the water, and so he can push their hips together while pressing his face to Derek’s neck. The water has washed away his sweaty scent, but Spencer doesn’t really care anymore. Not when those large hands smooth down his back and his butt, stopping there to squeeze.

“Oh,” Spencer can’t help but let out as their cocks slide together between them, the still there water gliding the way momentarily. He hasn’t been touched like this for long enough that it’s kind of felt like forever—they have been busy lately. It’s nice, more than nice, really, and Spencer gets up on the tips of his toes so he can push even closer, teeth skimming over darker skin right in front of him.

“Spence, babe.” Derek sounds out of breath already, obviously surprised at Spencer’s forwardness—he isn’t usually this assertive when it comes to being with Derek like this—and it feels too good when Derek squeezes the flesh of his butt harder and lets out a soft moan when Spencer bites harder.

When Derek’s finger slips between his butt cheeks accidentally, Spencer moans, leaning away from his neck to force their lips together again. Derek happily kisses him back, tongue and teeth and just enough nipping to have Spencer fully hard. His rough finger barely slick enough with water rubbing over Spencer’s hole is hot, and Spencer wants to push back on it, wants more than just rubbing off in the shower, but at the same time this feels like enough.

For now, it can be.

He scrapes his nails lightly down Derek’s chest and stomach, loving how the muscles jump under his fingertips, and doesn’t hesitate before wrapping his fingers tight around the shaft around Derek’s cock. It’s thick and hot; he feels his own hole throb a little from want, and starts pumping.

The low sounds coming from the body in front of him are beautiful, and Spencer can’t help it when he pushes forward against Derek’s hip for friction as he keeps his strokes up. “God—You’re too good at this,” the man whispers in Spencer’s ear, pulling him even closer and sending shivers down his spine as he licks up Spencer’s neck. “Always make me feel so good.”

Spencer gleams at that. He’s never been able to think normally like others, always too aware of everything, but when it’s just him and Derek, he has no problem letting go and just focusing on one thing: making Derek feel good. It’s not that hard to do, as long as they’re alone, because Spencer trusts Derek enough to let his guard down like this. He trusts him with his life.

The faster he strokes the harsher Derek’s breaths get, and the way his head is thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, lets Spencer know that he really is making him feel good. They’ve been doing this for a while, sneaking hours and nights together when they have a break, and Spencer knows what makes Derek squirm, what makes him moan. He rarely ever is the one in charge like this, but when he is, he always makes sure to do everything right.

Like thumbing over the slit and right under the crown, bringing his other hand down, rolling Derek’s sensitive balls around, and then wrapping around the base of his cock. It doesn’t take very long before he has to spit in his hand, the dry pull most likely uncomfortable, but after he does the pull is easier, using one hand to pump up and down the shaft, the other to rub over the head.

Derek’s hands are gripping Spencer’s hips tight now, thumbs pressed hard enough that there might be light marks later on, though all it feels is amazing to Spencer. He’d never admit it out loud, _never_ , but he has a bit of a marking kink—which includes a small amount of a pain kink—and he can’t wait for later on tonight when he falls into bed and presses his own thumbs over the inevitable marks.

He doesn’t say anything, just focuses on getting Derek off, making sure to breath hotly against Derek’s neck and even kiss it a little because he knows how much Derek likes that. He even presses himself against Derek’s hip a couple times.

Soon, Derek is moaning, these soft little things that no one would think could ever come out of him—honestly, Spencer thought he was crying the first time he made Derek sound like that—and Spencer speeds up his hand, paying extra attention to the crown, right under the head, like he knows Derek likes. It has his hips jumping, dark eyes finally opening and looking hectic as they connect with Spencer’s.

“Close,” he mumbles. As if Spencer didn’t already know. But, he won’t correct Derek at all, never has, not in this state of mind. He likes when the man feels the need to warn him. Spencer thumbs over the head, catching the steadily dripping precome and using it as lube, and Derek’s jaw drops when Spencer bites his lip. “So close,” he whispers again.

And with the way his hips are jumping, Spencer knows. “Come,” he whispers—he doesn’t like to talk at all in times like this, when both he and Derek are so vulnerable, but he knows how much Derek likes to hear him talk and if it means getting him to come faster, then so be it. He leans in again, nibbling Derek’s earlobe a little, before adding, “Come for me.”

That’s all it seems to take, as well as a few precise twists of his wrist, and then Derek is coming hot, white ropes all over Spencer’s hand, cock twitching and stomach muscles jumping. His o face is beautiful, as it always has been in Spencer’s opinion, and the little whimpers he lets out has Spencer feeling even hotter.

He doesn’t even hesitate before bringing his hand up, once he knows Derek is done, and licking up the come there, eyes closing at the bitter but nice taste.

“Spence,” Derek mutters quietly, and when Spencer opens his eyes the man is staring at him in disbelief, and Spencer feels proud of himself.

He’s nearly forgotten about his own hard dick, still licking the sticky come off his fingers, when Derek spins them around and pins him up to the shower wall, hand sneaking between them just like he had done and pulling him off in quick, sure strokes.

It’s been so long since he’s been able to properly get off that it doesn’t take long before he’s coming too, orgasm ripping small sounds from his mouth. Derek kisses him half way through it, tonguing deep in his mouth and catching his moans.

When he finally comes down he’s able to kiss back, just as attentive and wanting, until they have to pull apart for some very much needed air. “Amazing,” whispers Derek, eyes sincere. He must’ve rinsed his hand when they were kissing—or whatever, Spencer is still reeling and doesn’t really care about specifics—because his clean hands smooth down Spencer’s sides, stopping at his hips.

“I know,” Spencer says back with a smile, “It was.”

They finish the shower in silence, the only sounds from Spencer when Derek washes his hair, giving him a nice scalp massage, and neither say anything until they’re both drying off. “You should come over tomorrow,” is what Derek says, eyebrow rising in question at Spencer.

“Can I—”

“You can bring whatever books you’re reading, yes,” Derek cuts in. He’s smiling, eyes bright, and Spencer smiles too.

“Alright. Yeah.”

“And tonight?”

Spencer freezes. He had a strong feeling this was coming, and he wouldn’t be able to stop Derek from trying to talk about this to him if he tried. He sighs, running his fingers through his hair lightly to make sure it’s not too tangly, before walking back out into his room and rummaging through his dresser drawers.

“What about tonight?” he responds quietly, pulling on the first things he finds.

When he turns back around, Derek is right there, frowning at him but looking more sad than disappointed. “I know,” he starts, softly. A hand reaches across and laces with one of Spencer’s. “That you’re upset with JJ. I would be too. I mean, you didn’t come to me as much as you did her, probably because I wasn’t in the best state of mind for just myself, let alone the both of us. But—”

“Derek.” Spencer sighs, bringing a hand up to rest against his still-bare chest. He looks up with the most sincere eyes he can, squeezing his hand, and says, “I know what you’re trying to do, and thank you. But I don’t know if I’m ready to be around everybody if it’s just for fun. You know how hard it is for me to open up and fully trust someone with something like that, and it’s hard to just forget that I let JJ in just to find out she’d been lying. I love her and all of you, but I just don’t know if I can yet.”

Derek still looks sad but he wraps Spencer up in a warm hug anyway, holding him close, even swaying from side to side a little. It’s a nice little hug-cuddle, helps Spencer relax even more. “Please just think about it, alright? If not for Prentiss or JJ, then for me? I want you there. Hotch and Rossi and Penelope do too.”

“I’ll think about it, but I can’t promise anything.” Knowing it’s what Derek wants to hear, Spencer hopes he’ll drop it. He hates saying what Derek wants to hear just to make him happy or just to make him drop something. It doesn’t feel right at all, but at least he’s getting dragged to the couch in the living room for a cuddle.

It’s nice, finally being close with Derek like this, and Spencer soaks as much of it in as he can, knowing they won’t have very long before Derek has to leave, or very long before they’re called off to another part of the country for another case.

-

Derek answers the door that night, and he’s smiling like crazy, looking happy and not even a little surprised. “I knew you’d come,” he whispers.

Spencer smiles back, sneaking a glance behind Derek to see that they’re alone, that everybody must already be in the kitchen, then leans up for a quick peck. “You knew nothing. Let’s go.”

They’re both smiling as they go into the kitchen, and so is everybody else. Both Emily and JJ smile wider when they see him, and he smiles wider too.

He sat at his kitchen table for an hour straight after Derek left earlier, staring at the wall in front of him, as he thought everything over. Although he’d been hurt that JJ lied to him, he still missed her and he hated being so cold towards her and Emily. It took a while, but eventually he realized that there are more important things. Like being glad that Emily is back and spending as much time with these wonderful people—his _family_ —as possible, because who knows what could happen.

And now, as he sneaks another small smile in Derek’s direction, he knows he made the right choice. He’s never been one for cooking, but he’s surrounded by his friends, so he figures he’ll give it a try.

If it means getting to see his favorite people smile, then Spencer won’t complain.

 

 

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. This was supposed to be a PWP but I just rewatched that episode and was having major feels, so. Oh well. I had fun writing it, and I hope you had fun reading it.
> 
> Also, comments are very much appreciated (and wanted). I'd love your thoughts! :)


End file.
